Drama Tasting Rainbows
by Meoctopus167
Summary: This is just a random story. Probably alot of OOC, and my OC's are in here too. This is the Akatsuki in my mind. You don't like, DON'T READ! YAOI, and Hetero will be the pairings. ENTER IF YOU DARE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Thank you

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BEEP BEEP BEEP...BANG! A hand coiled back into its' warm lair of warmth and fluffiness, before her second-back-up-Holy-shit-you-really-need-to-get-up-before-....too late.

"Damn it Rini! Get up! You're late for you new school, and I'll be damned if your new principle calls me to report your 'Negative Behavior' like last week.", my ugly, spawn of Satan mother cackled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, now get out you damn hasha.", I mumbled, sliding off my bed and crawling to my replica of a piece of crap dresser.

"What to wear, what to wear?", I questioned my sleeping brain, I couldn't really stand to open my eyes for more than 2 minutes, so I picked randomly, YAY!

The random-ness just so happened to be my Owl City rain t-shirt and pretty white Tripp skinny jeans. 'Aww, damn I look adorable.' I thought, trying to kill a yawn-monster.

Jumping out of my room and down the hall, while trying to put my silver Vans on, I glanced at my Yo Gabba Gabba watch to see that my moth- *COUGH COUGH* spawn of Satan was correcto-mundo. I was late, but like only 5 minutes! But whatev!

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a purple Monster *drool* and ran out the door, tossling my bed hair and screaming "Sayonara!" to my moth- DAMN IT- spawn of Satan.

Not really paying attention, I accidently ran into a walking Lollipop dude. "OH MY FRICKIN' GAWD! I'm ssooooo sorry, like no JK dude, no. J. K!", I anime-cried.

"Oh, Tobi's okay, no need to get excited.", the real life Wolly Wonka, now to be called Tobi, chuckled.

"Hmm, kay, then I'm not sorry.", I smiled, then threw my hand out in front of me. "I'm Rini by the way. Nice to meet you Tobi."

Tobi nodded his head and laughed again. "Nice to meet you too. Are you going to that new high school that just opened?"

I nodded my head with a grimaced expression, and then took a good look at Tobster. He was wearing some regular black slip-ons, orange and black checkered skinny jeans, an orange fishnet shirt, and a short sleeved black tee over it. To top that off, he wore a lollipop looking mask on the left side of his head.

I would've been rude and asked him without hesitation, but I really didn't want to get in a fight at 7 in the morning.

"Well then, lets go, ne?", he..grinned?

I smirked and tagged him on the shoulder then took off running, shouting over my shoulder, "YOU'RE IT!!".

He started running after me, too bad for the guy. I feel bad that I was alot faster than him. So I decided to slow down a little bit, to look over my shoulder and see that he had jumped into the air to destroy me with a "Mega-holy-flying-fucking-shit-jesus glomp".

"HA!! Tobi got you Rini!", he stood in a victory stance, "Rini? OH MY CARAMEL COVERED TITIES!! I THINK I KILLED HER!"

"No you didn't. Just get off okay??"

I, somehow, heard him nod, and began breathing humanly again when his fat-ass was off.

After dusting myself off, we continued the last few yards to the school. School, the biggest form of hell for a teenager.

"OOH! Would Rini like to meet Tobi's best friends?!", I didn't see why not, so I agreed.

We walked into the building that reeked like hell, to the office to pick up my shedule *purposebly spellt wrong*, and then to what I think must've have been Homeroom.

When we entered the room of a perverted number, 83, I met eyes with about ooh, 9 people.

"Tobi, who the hella is this?!", some wanna be Grandpa-meets-albino screeched.

"Yeah Tobi, you know what Pein said about this last time! Un!", some transy whined.

Then I met eyes with the blonde. "OMG!! YOU LOOK LIKE BARBIE!", I yelled as I glomp him/her, and some red-head midget. "I think I call you Barbie, and you Annie.", I whispered through fake tears, while patting the red head on the head.

I was pushed off, rudely, and heard a reply of "I think NOT!".

"Alright, whatev. Oh soo,,,I'm Rini. Sorry I had Monster for breakfast.", I didn't really pay attention to anything because I started day-dreaming about my sex drink in a can, mmm.. the flavor, the fizz! It was like an ORGASMIC CONCERT WITH PIXI STICKS!

"Rini? RINI!", I shook my head and saw that all the people were staring at me. "Sorry.", I coughed.

"It's cool, so I'm Deidara, un. And I'm a boy.", Barbie said matter of factly.

"I'm Sasori, NOT ANNIE!", the Wendy's girl said.

"I'm Kisame,", the blue hair/skinned bouncer said, "and this is Itachi. He doen't talk much.", I waved at the guy sitting right next to 'Kisame', smiling when he waved back.

"I'm Konan! Oh, I HOPE you stay in this group, I hate being the only girl.", the blue-nette clapped happily.

"Oh, you can bet. I like you guys already!"

"I'm fucking Hidan, and the fucking bitch next to me is fucking Kakuzu.", Grandpa said, then pointed to the zombie wanna be.

"Oh, you guys are so cute! Just like my Living Dead Dolls.", I pinched on of each of their cheeks, and laughed at their death glares.

"I'm Zetsu, just a quick fact, I'm schizo. So, hope you don't mind.", a guy with green hair mumbled. Aw, I felt bad cause half of his body look a couple shades darker, while the other side was like 3 shades lighter.

"I'm sure I'll still love ya the same.", I smiled gently, patting his hand, making him and Tobi laugh a little.

"Now, last but not least. ME! I'M PEIN! WELCOME TO THE AKATSUKI!", the metal-detector-murderer went into a victory pose. I cheered back and high-fived him.

"SWEET! Erm...so what are we gonna dooo?", I leaned forward and back on my feet, while taking in everyone's styles.

Deidara, I noticed, had a fringe and the longest fucking guy hair I'd ever seen! He was wearing a t-shirt with an old cartoon bomb that said art, and looked like it was about to explode, along some paint splattered denim skinnies and vans with little bombs on it.

'Annie', Sasori, or 'Lord-who-has-a-stick-up-his-pooper', as I'll call him now, had a vintage Pinacchio t-shirt on with faded/distressed boyfriend jeans and plain brown Tom shoes.

Hidan, Grandpa, was wearing a white short sleeve with little multiple Jashin symbols scattered all over it. I looked down and noticed he would've been wearing just plain denim skinnies, but I guess he went D.Y.I. crazy and cut the shit out of them, then saw he had plaid steel toed boots.

Kakuzu, I will call you Scarface, was wearing a black tank top, grey arm-warmers, black skinnies, and black slip-ons. 'I'ma give you a make-over.', I thought in a sing-song voice.

Kisame..hmm I think I'll call him Gill. HA! He had on a sky blue Fred t-shirt and black boot-cut jeans with some Tripp boots.

I couldn't think of a name for Itachi, so I'll just call him that. The blackette had a Dethklok, HEY I CALL HIM NATHAN! Well he had on a Dethklok t-shirt, red and black Tripp pants, mm chains, and some red Tripp boots.

Konan, umm..hm....I shall call her Nana! The only other female was sporting, I'm guessing, her live-long obsession; Hello Kitty. She had on a Hello Kitty baby-doll tee, pink zebra striped skinnies, and Hello Kitty vans on. 'AWW she's so kawaii!', I smiled.

Zetsu, I'm going to call him HJ, for Hyde and Jeykel! He was in a plain black short sleeve, plain black jeans, that hung on his plain black Toms. 'I'm so taking him shopping.', I promised myself.

Finally but not sadly; Pein, who was in a Misadventures of Flapjack tee, distressed boyfriend jeans, and leather sandals.

"EWWW! I SEE SKIN DISEASE!", I cried loudly, pretending to tear my eyes out.

When I finished and calmed down, I recieved blank stares, until Grandpa broke the silence with "WHAT THE HELL!", Oh yes this was going to be a great day.

Until, I saw HIM!

"Rin-Rin, I didn't expect you to be at the same school with me. Again!", the silhouette smirked, I didn't even have to see his face to know he was smirking.

"Haha, you dumb bubble bitch. What are you doing here...KAIDA!"

- - - - - - - - To be continued - - - - - - - - -

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Hope you like it!! Review + Rate pleazios!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the apparel in this fanfic, or any of the brands either. But I do own some of the ideas I'm in the processing of making. Thank You.

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"Hm, why should I tell you? You dumb, fat cow!"

"WHAT THE HELLA SUNDAES ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? YOU CUM GUZZLIN', BEST FRIEND INPREGNATING, FAT ASS!", I screamed, reaching for the nearest sharp thing I could find. I was about to throw it, but someone, or actually, SOME PEOPLE, held me back.

"YO! Kaida, what up my man?", Gill, whose name is now Kiss-my-ass-me (sounds like me on the Kisame's name), bro hugged the biggest sac of hormones and lies in the world.

"Eh, just had to talk with the Principal, ya' know? Something about little miss bipolar over there.", he smirked when he saw I was being held back again.

"You. Are. SO FUCKIN' DEAD, YOU WANNA BE HUGH HEFNER!! I swear, once these sychronized robots get off me, you WILL get your balls, successfully, cut off!", I glared at him, still holding my sharpened weapon. (Can you guess what it is?)

"WITH WHAT! A SPORK?!", (LOL! Sporks trying to be Batman!) the dumbass doubled over, laughing. I chucked the evil food-ware-of-doom at him, successfully hitting him hard enough in the crouch to make sure he was doubled over for another reason.

"TAKE THAT YOU KUMQUAT BITCH!", I screamed at him, being dragged out of the room by Nana (Konan), Barbie (Deidara), Lord-With-A-Stick-Up-His-Ass (Sasori), HJ (Zetsu), Willy Wonka ( Tobi), and Grandpa (Hidan).

"Rini. Rini! RINI! Calm the FUCK down!", HJ screamed, shaking me. I didn't realize anything, but I felt a bunch of warm rain drops on my face. I looked up to see Hidan doubled over me, laughing so hard he was crying.

"What was that back there hm?", the blonde-walking-sex-doll asked calmly, which I guess is really not so normal, because Hidan seized his laughing fit and glanced at the blonde before leaning against the wall opposite of me, with the others.

"I've known the No-Nut-Wonder, ever since I was 3 years old. We were friends up until 6th grade, when decided he was better, and started hanging out with the older kids. Last year, him and my absolute bestest friend in the world, decided to get jiggy wid it, and she got pregnant. Not only that,", I forcefully laughed, "she got all of his past girlfriends' STD's! Now she's back at my old home-town, in a CEMETERY because of the bastard. She made me promise I wouldn't kill him, but she didn't say anything about kicking his ass to the moon! And that's what I'm going to do!", I screamed, trying to get back in the room with Satan himself.

"Not. So. Fast, deary. Tobi can see why Rini's upset, but Kaida is probably very sorry.", the lollipop man tilted his head down to my level, holding my shoulders gently.

"Yeah un! Besides, the way you're talking about him makes him seem like an asshole. Kaida's the nicest dude we know. Besides myself of course.", that little comment from Barbie got him a thomp on the head from Lord-Stick-Up-His-Bung-Hole.

"Kaida! NICE!", I started cussing like a sailor, because in reality, there wasn't a nice bone in that fire-asses body or soul!

"RINI! Quit it, NOW!", Nana hissed, "Anyway, did your friend have the baby?".

I calmed down and pushed Willy Wonka away from me. "Yeah, she did, but after she had him, she immediately died. She didn't even get to name him, so the doctors allowed me too."

"Why? Were her parents not there or something?", Grandpa mumbled. That, once again, pissed me off.

"NO! In fact, after she announced her and Kaida had a baby, her PARENTS, the people who are supposed to always be there for you, threw her out! She thought she could stay with Kaida, but he was already cheating on her, so she stay the full nine months with me!", I glared at the floor, and started clenching and unclenching my fist.

"Hmm..so she had a boy, did she?". That voice.

"Kaida, get your ASS. In here. NOW!", I didn't recognize that voice, but I'm sure it must have been Pein, because he was the more leaderly figure. I'd have to be sure and thank him when I was back in the room.

"Fine, but we will continue this discussion fat-ass. Can you at least tell me what, oh my god, YOU named him?", he whined, rolling his eyes at my glare.

"Why do YOU want to know?", I growled, wanting to recieve a good excuse to kick his ass, but only got a chuckle.

"Because! I want to know if it's too late to legally change MY sons' name!", the bleach blonde glanced cooly at me with his grey eyes.

"Kaida! She named him a name. That's all, I repeat, ALL you need to know. Now, all of you get your ass inside.", Pein shouted again.

We all went in, some of us voluntarily, but some of us needed a few pushes and shoves, and the occasional knock-you-the-fuck-out punch in the face, so we could be counted for the day.

"Hey, Rini.", I woke up from my state of unconsciousness (guess who got punched) to see Nathan (Itachi) looking at me.

"Hm, yeah? What's up?", I stretched trying to fight another yawn monster.

"Well, I over heard that you took responsibility to give your friends child a name. What DID you name him? I promise I won't tell Kaida, I don't really like him that well either.", the blackette smiled sincerely, so I smiled back, but more weaker.

"Hm, well I didn't just name him, I took him in and am raising him as my own.", I pulled out my favorite picture of us, and showed Nathan. "I named him after Gaynell's, my friends, favorite name in the world. We would stay up all night every Saturday for nine whole months, thinking of names. And she always liked his the best."

"What is it?! You're killing me with excitement!", he chuckled, causing me to laugh a little.

"Moanna. Moanna Shiori Kita. His first name means Ocean, Shiori means poem. And I gave him my last name. Gaynell made me promise her that too.", I said, closing my eyes, because I knew I was about to cry.

"She made you promise to give him your last name and not hers?", Nathan questioned. I couldn't even form words, because only I knew why she made that promise. So I only nodded, and tried to regain my emotions to explain why.

"She....she...she was so out of it! She felt she was a disgrace to her family line, so she....she said she wanted Moanna to be born to a...a..better family that one with a disgraceful mother in it. So,", I started sobbing, "so..I said I would and I told her I'd name him her prized posession. Gaynell loved...oh my god, she loved the ocean. That's why..why we lived at our beach house for nine months. Oh my god Itachi, I miss her so much! I miss her so bad, I want to fucking kill Kaida.", I was crying so hard that I didn't see Itachi reach across my desk to hold me. But being held didn't comfort me, I just kept bawling.

"Rini, are you okay? Oh, I forgot to mention, school's pretty much over. Do you want to leave now?", Itachi patted me on the back as I wiped my nose with a tissue someone had handed me.

"Yeah. Hey would you like to come over and meet Moanna? The other guys, and girl, can come over too! Except Kaida, me and my spawn of Satan mom won't let him see my little bundle of joy.", I glared at the wall, nothing in particular, but smiled sweetly when I saw Itachi nod. Then he pulled out his phone and started to text everyone, saying something like 'Hey everyone, we're going to Rini's house, meets us in Room 83.' or something along those lines.

Suddenly, like only 2 minutes afterwards, I heard what sounded like a mini subway station in Nathans' pants go off. I'm guessing that was everyone replying something like 'Hell yeah, un!', 'Sure, y the fck not!', 'K.', 'Oky-doky!','Sounds fun c u there! :)', 'Roger roger', ' *rubs your pants* Srry Tachi! Sure thng!', and 'HELL YEAH! WITH THE PWR OF YOUTH!!' (can you guess who that is? Betcah can't!)

"Well, looks like we're all going. Let's go. We're meeting in room 83.", Nathan said, standing up and grabbing his and my stuff. Before following him, I did my victory dance and screamed "OH YEAH! TOTALLY PSYCHIC!", in front of my confused Anatomy class.

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How did you guys like it? Was it too fast? Too much too soon? Review and RATE BIZNITCHES!


	3. Honey I'm Home!

I LOVE FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS!1

Just thought I'd say that :)

TAKE IT AWAY GUY!

Guy: Right! The youthful Eri-chan does not own Naruto, nor do I, Guy! Now off to the story by the power of youth!

Eri-chan: Aw I love his monologue! ^_^ but like he said, READ IT OR I SICK SHUKAKU ON YOU! lol raccoon love.

"Rini! Are you coming or not?", the annoyed sound of Nathan's (Itachi's) voice lingered to my ear.

I shot back down to reality and smiled, "YEAH!", I screamed and followed him down the hall to the all powerful Room 83.

"RINI! OH MY LOLLIPOP FLAVORED CHICKEN! Tobi has misseded you all day.", Willy Wonka gently caressed my head into his chest. Which of course was super freaky, but acceptable.

"Aw, Tobster, I has missed you too my love.", I giggled and patted him on the shoulder. "Now, who's ready to go see Moanna?", I smiled from ear to ear when I saw a group of hands go up.

"But are you sure he'll want to see us, Rini?", Nana (Konan) frowned, "I mean, he doesn't know us, and meeting too many people at one time can be stressful to a little kid.", everyone, including me, WTF-ed at Nana, who giggled and blushed. Then she made up some excuse about Child Developement.

"I'm sure the little bra-,", I glared and pointed a spork at Barbie (Deidara), because no one calls my little monkey a _brat_. "I mean, the little boy won't mind it. After all, how bad could he be?"

I doubled over in laughter, and started bawling like Grandpa (Hidan) had earlier. "Oh, I let you all decide for yourselfs. Except Zetsu, Konan, and Pein. Konan and Pein, because he loves,_loves _piercings, and Zetsu. Because my son knows how to be polite.", I patted Zetsu on the hand like earlier.

"Well, if we're all ready, _lets go! By the power of youth!_", Captain-Toe-Fungus (Pein), shot a peace sign up to the heavens.

"Umm, dude you _need_ to quit doing Guy's monolouge.", I sighed and walked out of the room towards the entrance door as the final bell rang.

"Oh, would any of you dorks mind lending me a ride?", I scratched my cheek and smiled. "I walked here today."

"Hmm, I guess me and 'Tachi could give you a lift, if you don't mind dry-humping.", Gill chuckled, until he saw my evil smile.

"Oh no, that won't bother me at all!", I laughed maniacally while pulling out a video camera.

Gill and Nathan both sweat dropped, but wiped it off, proceeding to guide me towards everyones cars. None of them were fancy, just normal cars. Except Nathan had a dark, sparkly blue fading into a pale, sparkly blue with Gills' paint job on a Hybrid. Captain-Toe-Fungus had a black with red clouds paint job on a Toyota mini-van. Nana had a Hello Kitty plaqued VW mini-van. Kakuzu and Grandpa hoped into a decked out with bling HM1 Hummer. Willy Wonka and HJ I guess couldn't afford car, because they hopped in with Nana. Barbie and Lord-with-a-stick-up-his-pooper, stepped inside a brown MR2 Spyder that had tons of birds, puppets, and other animal stickers splattered everywhere. I did the "eenie-meenie-minie-moe" thing in my head and chose to go with HJ, Willy Wonka and Nana.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 15 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~ (dun dun DUNNNNHAM!)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me, Tobster, HJ, and Nana stepped out the mini-van still arguing and throwing candy at each other, then began picking candy off ourselves as we proceeded to walk to my house and be followed by the posse. Once I saw everyone was there and alive, I smiled evilly. 'Should I warn them?...Nah!', so I pulled out the key *que creepy repetetive back-ground voice singing "The keyEEE"*, and unlocked the door so everyone could get inside.

Before I welcomed myself home, I motioned for everyone to cover their ears. So when they all covered their ears, I started yelling like Tarzan. "_HASHA! MOANNA! FREDDY'S BACK_!", I smiled afterwards because I heard my mom scream, she _hates_ Friday the 13th, and when I heard my little monkeys' feet pattering down the stairs.

"Mommy! Mommy! Freddy isn't back, that was _mean_.", the little chunky, blonde and brunette low-lighted 1 year old pouted.

"Aw, Mon, I'm sorry. But I did bring my friends from school. Do you want to meet them?", I smiled and laughed when he vigoriously nodded his head.

I opened my arms wide open and picked him up, then turned and presented him. "Guys, meet Moanna. Moanna meet,", I said their names when I pointed them, "Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, NOT BARBIE! Remember that. Konan, Pein, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, and Itachi.".

They all smiled and waved at Moanna, except Tobi, Deidara, and Konan that went nuts after him. They went all "_awww_" towards him, while the others shook his hand.

"Hey, wait, Rini, he's 1 year old right? How does he know how to talk, and fluent sentences already!", Nathan narrowed his eyes at me. I laughed again.

"Um, duh! Your baby can read, you dork! Best thing ever, my little monkey's a smart-ass, aren't you Mon, aren't you?", I cooed at him as I hugged him. It was a happy moment. Until I heard it.

"Well, aren't you gonna introduce me to my son?", that evil, syrupy voice smirked.

"_Kaida_! How the _fuck_ did _you_ get _here_!", I glared at him, then at everyone else. I didn't even stop to listen. I carried Moanna straight up the stairs, not caring who followed me, to his room.

"Moanna, I need you to lock the door, okay sweetie?", I smiled weakly and explained the man downstairs wanted to "hurt mommy". So he agreed and locked his door as soon as I exited. Then I went to Hashas' room, and informed her that _'he' _was here. She frowned and told me to go downstairs to distract him, while she called the police.

When I was back downstairs, I was glaring again. "Now, someone _explain_ to me. Why the _hell_ is _he here_!", I screamed and grinded my teeth.

"Well..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To be continued.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OOOHHH ^_^ so what do anyone of you guys think so far? I really think I went too fast TT_TT FML!

Hidan: Fucking when's the fucking sex scene?

Meo: O.O don't you always fuck when you have sex? *confused look*

Kakuzu: Dumb asses.

Meo and Hidan: HEY!

Meo: Just because Hidan-chan didn't get his GED, doesn't mean he's a dumb ass!

Hidan: I'M SACRIFICING YOU TO JASHIN YOU DICK-WHIPPING, PIG FACED, SHIT BRAIN!

Meo: *Laughs and runs away* Until next time amigos et amigas!

OOh and the little * next to the keyEEE is, imagine the sing song voice from Flapjack saying it ^_^

REVIEW OR I'LL PUT FISH ON YOU!


	4. The Meatspheres and OJ

Good Morning readers =^_^= I gots POPCORN!

Itachi: Eri. . .

E: YOU CAN'T SAY MEH NAME!

Itachi: Sorry sorry. Sorry, okay, um, Author-sempai?

E: Yes Mr. Uchiha. . . hahahaaa!

Itachi: WHAT THE HELL?

E: I'm a pirate n_n ON TO THE DISCLAIMER OF KNOWLEDGE!

Itachi: *cough* Hn.

E: Wow dude. . . YOU SUCK!

Naruto: Here I shall do it. Eri-chan does no-*thomp* OW! What was that for?

E: You. I don't like you, because in my head, _you_ steal Hinata's innocence.

*Eri-chan and Naruto begin fighting*

Itachi: As I said before Hn. Translated. Eri-chan does not own any of the lyrics, brands, or character/settings in her story. Naruto is not owned by her. But if it was then magically all men would somehow have a lovechild.

E:Haha, um, no, they wouldn't Itachi. You know why? BECAUSE THAT'S ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT! Now, ENJOY OUR SHOW!

"Well..."

"Well what?", I hissed at Grandpa, who was currently scratching the back of his head.

"No one really, ever, invites Kaida. He just follows, I guess. Un.", Barbie bowed his head and moved between me and Kaida, as well as everyone else.

"Hm. It's true. I do follow, but so do all the rest of you!", he glared at the blonde and tried to take a step toward me. But thankfully, the big ol' friendly, fish-man intercepted.

"Kaida. _Don't_. Rini doesn't want you near him, so just lay off and _go home_.", Gill growled and placed a hand on the pale blondes shoulder.

"What if I just want to spend some time with my son? Huh? Fishboy?", Kaida began turning red and clenched his jaw. "Also, what are you going to do about it?", he challenged.

"If you don't, Kaida. Then we all have _no choice_, but to let you off. No '_ifs_, _ands,_ or _buts_' about it.", Captain skin disease said cooly. I kept a small shiver to myself, because Captain Skin Disease, like this, was_ very _scary.

"_Fine_, but let me say_ one _last thing to Ms. Psycho. Gaynell _hated_ you. Every_ little _thing, just wanted you know.", he laughed and fled off my estate, for what I hope would be the _last_ time.

It remained quiet for about a century, in which I was being restrained from chasing after that sly ass mink, and killing him. Until a small voice shouted, "Mommy? Can I come out now?".

Tobster giggled a little then looked at me with a sweet, kind smile. Then he grabbed HJ's and my hand, only to practically drag us up my stairs. While being dragged, I sent a pained expression at HJ, mentally asking him "Doesn't this hurt". He just sent a bored expression back and shook his head, then smiled when we reached the top of the stair-case.

"Yeah, sweetie you can come out.", I shouted, while rubbing my side that had been attacked by the stairs. Moanna came out, slowly, with a terrified look that could have melted the Grinch's heart. He saw that I was rubbing my sides and ran to me, then attacked me, crying and squeezing all the oxygen out of my system.

"Mommy! NO! Don't die!", he sobbed, as I rubbed his back, attempting comfort him. But being bound by my little monkey, then trying to lend a comforting arm is slim to impossible.

"Moanna, buddy, I think your mommy is fine.", Scarface chuckled, while everybody tried to pry Moanna off of me.

He backed up off of me, only to find that I was now rubbing all the sore spot created by him. "Oh. Sorry mommy. B..but I was s..so scared!", he ran up to me, yet again locking on to me, and began sobbing like he had lost an ice cream cone of gold.

"Honey, it's okay.", I patted his ribs a little, and was assisted by Gill and Nathan, who handed Moanna over to me. "Now, how about we all go eat some worms and eyeballs? Huh?", I blew a raspberry (me WTF! You don't even pronounce the "P" in it!) on his tummy, while walking down the stairs.

"Umm, we aren't actually having 'eyeballs and worms'? Are we Rini-chan?", Tobster turned green and looked at me, with a desperate look in his eye. Well, until Moanna patted his mask.

"No, silly weiner! It's spaghetti and meatballs. Mommy just does that to scared Hasha.", the little blondie-brunette smiled proudly. Everyone then stopped dead in their tracts and looked at me.

"Hasha? Really, Rini?", Wendy looked at me (Okay um Wendy is Sasori. Damn it if only he had pig tails!).

"Well it's not my fault! She is!", I mumbled, as we reached the kitchen. I took out 6 cans of Chef Boyar...Boyaur...the frickin' one guy who makes spaghetti-os and ravioli. 6 cans so everyone could have some. Once I finished up making around 13 bowls for everyone, yep including Hasha, Lord-Foot-Fungus spoke up, with sauce on his face, that Nana licked off.

"Hey! No kinky stuff in front of my monkey!", I screamed, covering my sons eyes. "Oh, sorry about that Rini. Konan, la~ter.", the orange haired guys sang into his gf's ear. "Anyways, we need to fill you in on some stuff, some of which you might have guessed. Others, you might not have."

Me and Moanna looked at each other, then back to the gang and nodded.

"Fire at will, Kevin Fed!", Moanna giggled.

OMG IT TOOK ME FOREVER!

Naruto: I hope you die this year.

Me: FUCK YOU! Rapist.

Minato: WHAT! My son? A RAPIST? I should have trained him better. *beats his son up*

Me: Hehehe it's just like...oops wrong show =]

Rini: Hey where's my gir...*muffled sound*

Me: No! You give away the surprise. No Millionaires t-shirt! Or YAOI NOR YURI! I know how much you love sex T.T

Rini: Aww, that I do =^_^=

Moanna: *sigh* well since Mommy and Author-lady are in a fight. I'll be sweet and command "REVIEW OR I'LL TAPE GUMMY BEAR SECKS!" Hidan! I did it!

Me and Rini: *glare at Hidan* HIDAN YOUR ASS IS DEAD!

Hidan: *cowers in fear* B...bye fuckers! That's it bitches!

~Mmkay, on a serious note though (NNOO) lol, I did get a little italized happy, because some jerk ruined my writing skizzle. Something about using less caps and blah blah blah. Whatever, whatever I do what I want. Anyways. Also, I really don't know how to spell the brands name and my family and I don't buy him anymore, we buy Great Value, which I'm highly addicted to now. Then, I didn't make Kaida a 'weasle' because, dude, that's _Itachis' _name. Plus we dissected minks in Anatomy II my partners and mine still had a furry tail on it. LMAO


	5. Baller Party

E: Alas ye mates! I'm a frucking seniorrr!

Naruto: I still hope you die, damn oinkers.

Sakura+Ino: NARUTO! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!

Cast of story: Oooh someone has girl issues! *laughter*

Naruto: Frucking teenage, immature, whiplash burnages (basically incoherent mumbles)

COS: On to the story monkeys! Eri-chan doesn't own jack shiz!

"K. Fed? Why him?", Captain Fungus/ Pein whined. We all glanced down at his feet, then back at his face. In unison, we all mentally shifted a gear towards, "Are you serious?".

Captain Fungus coughed, then continued to speak. "Well, anyways, o~kay. So now you're are both, members of ...the...Akatsuki!", que ze crickets (me: AHHHH DIE MOTHER FUCKERS! *screams and dies from anxiety*).

Nana looked around, then wiped her lips daintly. Out of no-where, the sweet sugar-coated sound of sarcasm made babies giggle. "Yay! Go team Akatsuki, not team Twi-fuck!", she said, then went back to eating, as did everyone else.

"Haha, Konan, I know that you love Twi-fuck, *barf*. Oops.", Nathan looked at the grossness in front of him, feeling embarassed for himself, until I saw Moanna walk towards him. "It's okay Itachi, I make messes all the time too." My little monkey hugged his new friend, as we all caught a kawaii moment. Well, only a 50/50 kawaii, because Hasha appeared from the depths of hell from whence she came!

"Oh Rini, is that...that...ugh! Gone yet? Ah, I smell spaghetti and meat-spheres!", she grabbed her bowel and sat down next to Moanna, at our large island. She smiled at everyone, "Oh gosh, I forgot I'm Rini's mother. It's a pleasure to meet you all.", smiling as everyone introduced themselves.

"I'm Rini!", I glomped Hasha out of no-where, who somehow found it in her stone-of-a-heart to hug back.

"And I'm Captain Jack!", my monkey giggled, and then started the crazed singing of "Captain Jack".

Once everyone settled down, Captian Fungus began talking again, starting with the syrupy-good-gossip on relationships. "Well, if you haven't guessed, Konan and me-" "Konan and I.", the blue-nette corrected her man-slave. "Right, well we are in a relationship, no hints that it's sexual!", the magnet terminator shouted, mostly at the rest of his group than my family and I. "Also, Kisame and Itachi are dating, Sasori and Deidara are dating. If you couldn't tell, Zetsu and Tobi are in a very caring, loyal relationship.", he stopped, and took a sip of his OJ...OH CRAP!

"K. Fed! No! OJ will kill you!", I jumped over the island and magically flew away from him, after retrieving his juice.

"What the 'h' cholla?", Grandpa shouted, while I stared at him, hoping that OJ wouldn't arrive soon.

"A~nyways, Hidan and Kakuzu are in a three way relationship, with a girl named Hinata.", the fungus breeder coughed, while pulling out a picture of the 2 guys and a cute looking girl, all three dressed in pink summer dresses.

"Aww, well, why isn't Hina-chan here with us?", Hasha muttered, eating the rest of her pasta.

"Um, well.", Grandpa stared at Scarface, who quickly took the reins.

"Hinata has a very strict family, and she also has a lot of extracurricular activities. So she's not able to hang out as much.", he sighed sadly.

"Aw, Kakuzu, Hidan, we're sorry.", Moanna climbed over the island to them and attempted to hug them both. "Maybe, maybe, mommy can meet her tomorrow, then ask her if she wants to come see a concert!", he jumped down and started dancing, enjoying the fact he might make a new friend.

"What concert, when, and maybe. It just depends buddy-boy.", the white haired albino smiled.

*Ding Dong*

I stood up, mumbling "I'll get it.", walking to the door to open it up and reveal, OJ. It's safe to say, that due to my opera scream, no glass survived.

"Oh, my, gawd!", my she-demon mother screamed, and even if I wasn't in the kitchen, I felt her glare. "Who the hell drank some orange juice?".

From that day on, Captain Fungus only drank Dr. Pepper, a soda with 23 delicious flavors, no calories.

Author-sama: That's all so far. Oh, and it's been a while, so no one knows I don't drink Diet soda anymore. Asparatame was making me moody haha

Nana: So is Hinata coming in soon?

Author-sama: Of course *smiles*

Nana: Aww well rate and review please

*Serious note again. I, the writer/author, am actually terrified of the class crickets and grasshoppers are in. I hate them all with a frickin' passion.

For those of you who don't know Spanish =]

Cholla = (F) gangster


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